Grieving is weird

My cousin Jill passed away this morning at 4:30. After speaking with the doctors yesterday again, they made the decision to remove her from all the machines. They aer pretty sure that she had A.D.E.M. Here is the definition or A.D.E.M. .... What is Acute Disseminated Encephalomyelitis?Acute disseminated encephalomyelitis (ADEM) is a neurological disorder characterized by inflammation of the brain and spinal cord caused by damage to the myelin sheath. The myelin sheath is the fatty covering, which acts as an insulator, on nerve fibers in the brain. ADEM may occur in association with a viral or bacterial infection, as a complication of inoculation or vaccination, or without a preceding cause. Onset of the disorder is sudden. Symptoms, which vary among individuals, may include headache, delirium, lethargy, coma, seizures, stiff neck, fever, ataxia, optic neuritis, transverse myelitis, vomiting, and weight loss. Other symptoms may include monoparesis (paralysis of a single limb) or hemiplegia (paralysis on one side of the body). The disorder occurs in children more often than in adults.
Grief is weird because you go from feeling sad and crying to feeling numb and not being able to cry anymore from the shock of it all to feeling happy for the person because you know that they are no longer suffering or in pain to feeling sort of confused as to the whys of everything. It just hit so suddenly and caused so much swelling in her brain that she had portions of her brain that died. It is just all very very sad but I am so thankful for the gospel.
Out of thirteen cousins, I have had three die young. Sometimes we just don't understand things. But I am okay with not understanding things for now. I know I will know everything some day. I just have to wait awhile for those answers.
Thanks to everyone for their concern and prayers for my family this past week.