A hard day...

Today I got a call from my grandma that my cousin Jill was not going to make it. So I went to the hospital and spent quite a few hours down their with my family. The hospital's grief counselor had a meeting with them earlier today and said that she wasn't doing well and if anyone wanted to come to say goodbye, to do so today and tomorrow. Tomorrow they will meet with the counselor again and make the decisions that they need to. Her brain has continued to swell and she has stopped being able to breathe on her own. They have had her on a breathing machine for a while now, but when they took her off of it, she was still able to breathe on her own it was just a stressed breathing. Now she is unable to breathe at all without help from the machine. My aunt and uncle have made the decision to not let her suffer. I do not know when "it" will happen but I did say my goodbyes to her today. I told her that she was a big pain in the butt and that I love her. I also thanked her for allowing me to know her. By that, I mean that Jill was a hard person to get to know. She didn't allow too many people in but I was one of the lucky ones. She puts out a big front and acts all tough but deep down, she's a sweetheart and will do anything for you. Most people have not seen that side of her but I am so thankful that she allowed me to see her true self. I am going to miss her.